in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
