I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
