brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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