Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
