Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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