Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
