I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
