No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
