I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
