does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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