At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
