I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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