Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize