My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
