Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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