Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
A bitchslap is in order.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
