i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
