Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
