Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
True college students do jello shots in the library
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
