I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
