Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
