we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
