Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
