I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
