Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
