3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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