Define "chronic" masturbator.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
