I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
