I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize