my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
