I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
