she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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