That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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