when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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