One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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