she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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