Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My breasts were aching with rage.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
