There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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