I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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