The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm both gender and math confused
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
