..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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