We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
