so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
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