We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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