Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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