just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
