Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
