I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize