i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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