guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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