summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
