We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
