Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The best revenge is premature balding
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
