I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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