We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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