oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
