talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Holy sore nipples Batman
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
