# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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