My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
