There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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